Hi, lovelies,Today’s post is about releasing yourself from the chokehold of trying to please others. When I was younger, I didn’t realize that I was a people pleaser. That stemmed from having anxiety and wanting others to like me, and not having to deal with confrontation. I was constantly putting the needs and wants of others above my own. I was filling everyone else’s cup while mine was running dry. IT IS DRAINING. I used to worry a lot about what others thought about me, which is funny because I had and still have confidence in myself. But, I had this warped perception that if I did certain things, that would make everyone else happy. I was not being true to myself. WTF was I even thinking because clearly, I wasn’t thinking straight. The only person we should aspire to please is God. No ifs and or buts about it. He is the one who gave us life, so it’s safe to trust the one who gave it to you and has been protecting you all along, even when we don’t seem to see it.
There is nothing wrong with being a kind person but trying to please others, bending over backward will leave you unhappy, drained, exhausted and just miserable. I do not like misery in any form. I’ve been there, done that and won’t go back. The first thing I’ve learned is that it is okay to say no to people. I used to feel bad saying no to others and would over-explain myself for why I said no. That increased my anxiety and just caused me to be stressed out. The word “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t need to give someone a thesis statement on why your answer is no. Some people don’t like being told no but guess what, that is their problem and not your problem. Let them be upset. Once I learned that and started implementing it, I have never felt freer. Holding yourself to this notion that you have to run around like a headless chicken, wanting to make sure everyone is okay, taking care of their needs and wants etc., will send you into a tailspin. Learn to set healthy boundaries with people and stick to them. Do not do things to look good in someone else’s eyes. Stick to being true to yourself. If you’re a people pleaser, these are some ways that you can stop doing so:
- Say no without explaining.
- Set healthy boundaries with others
- Listen to your intuition. it never fails
- Remind yourself that you cannot please everyone because it is impossible
- Stand your ground and stand up for yourself
- Do not let anyone bully you into saying yes to anything
- Prioritize yourself
- Be happy. Choose to find joy.
If you’re a people pleaser, I hope this helps you to start putting yourself first. Remember, an empty cup cannot fill another.