This thought randomly came to me while watching a movie tonight. What are you leaving behind in 2021? So many of us plan New Year’s goals and resolutions but do we stop for a minute to think about what we don’t want to bring with us? My fiance and I discussed what we want to leave behind this year and, I will share mine with you.
- Fear: I realized fear is the basis for the things I’m leaving behind. We all experience fear, at least a healthy amount of it. Once it starts interfering with your daily life, recon needs to happen.
- Not standing up for myself more: This was a rollercoaster for me over the years. This year, I learned how to stand up for myself more than ever and not take bullshit from anyone. I have tolerated a lot in my life. I decided not anymore. Some people tend to get off on others that don’t speak up for themselves. Moving forward, I will not be keeping silent about how anyone or anything makes me feel. You shouldn’t either.
- Dumbing myself down: 😮💨 This is something I struggled with for quite some time. It started when I moved to this country. I didn’t realize what I was doing until I got to college. I’m smart. There are no “ifs, and’s or buts” about it; however, I found myself dumbing myself down to make others around me comfortable. I wish I could go back in time and give myself a good shaking. Tip: Don’t do it. Be unapologetic about who are, your skills, and your abilities.
- Second-guessing myself: I struggled with this for some time simply because I allowed myself to listen and absorb the opinions of others. Telling me what they think I should do or talking me out of things I’ve decided. I could’ve done so many more things in this life if I didn’t allow people’s thoughts and opinions to infiltrate my decisions. The good news is that I can and will do those things.
- Wondering what people will say or think: Nobody likes to admit this one, but at some point in our lives, we have all asked, “what do or would others think about me?”. This kind of fear gives the opinions of others an unknowing power over us. Sure, it’s nice to seek WISE counsel or advice from the trusted people in your life; however, the final decision is yours. Remember that. I have learned and still learning to take it to God first and always.
- Imposter Syndrome: I have a blog post dedicated to this one here 👇🏾https://www.dailydoseofcozy.com/2021/12/13/imposter-syndrome%f0%9f%91%80/ Don’t be afraid to take up space in this world because there is room for all of us. Don’t let fear of inadequacy trick you into believing that you don’t deserve greatness because you do.
- Feeling guilty for saying no & explaining why I said it: I have gotten a lot better at this one; however, there are times where I will still try to explain why I said no, in an attempt not to make the other person feel bad (being an empath is hard sometimes). Do not let anyone make you feel bad for telling them no. Some people are so used to hearing yes, that the word no sends them into shock. Those people should hear no more often.
- Feeling uncomfortable for having confidence in myself: This may sound crazy to some, but I have had people try and make me feel bad for having self-confidence. I never grasped why some people hated when others had confidence, and loved themselves. They would try their hardest to bring that person down in every way. I finally concluded that people are projecting their insecurities on others. Remember this: when you love yourself, the world will try to convince you not to. On the flip side, if you don’t love yourself, they’ll still judge you and say you should love yourself more. The moral of the story is to keep loving yourself, whether people like it or not.
I hope this post can encourage you to take a look at your life and see what you need to leave behind. Drop a comment below letting me know what’s on your left behind list😊